When we think of change, we tend to think of big things like losing 20 lbs, exercising everyday instead of never, being a completely positive person… oh, the list goes on. In reality, there are many small things we can do, just one small thing, that can make a world of difference in how we live our lives.
One thing I have found that can make a huge difference in how we live, and most importantly, how we PERCEIVE the world around us, is HOW WE DESCRIBE IT. It’s such a simple concept. So simple and effective that it’s nearly verging on ridiculously easy!
I first read about this concept in my late teens when I read “Awaken The Giant Within” by Anthony Robbins. To be honest, that was the first book on self-improvement that I had ever read and I took it seriously. Now I must admit that I forget a lot of it although I read it a few times within one year, but one thing that really stuck with me and that I really remembered was the part about the words we use to describe things or experiences.
It’s really quite simple. There are many words within the English language that describe how we feel. Unfortunately, there are many more to describe negative emotions than there are to described positive ones. It actually varies a whole lot between languages. I know from personal experience and knowledge of the Spanish language that there are many more words and sayings that express emotions, and I would say that at a certain level, it was easier to express what I was feeling in Spanish than it was in English. To be honest, at times I wish I could express myself in Spanish because I just can’t find the words in English.
But, that is besides the point… the words we use define how we feel. Or maybe you could also say that our feelings are defined by the words we use. One thing I have learned through reading books upon books, is that a lot of what we feel or think has to do with perception. If it has to do with perception, then if we use different words to describe what we perceive, then we can actually change how we feel about what we perceive. Again, this is ridiculously simple:
Let’s say you are driving and you tend to get angry about how others drive around you. It’s common and I know that a lot of us do this, but we have conversations with ourselves out loud about how those around us are driving. I could go into dirty language, but I’ll stick to the nicer stuff: “Doesn’t that person know how to drive?”, “I HATE people who don’t know how to signal before turning”, “It pisses me off that people just can’t look before….”
The list can go on.
Or let’s say you’ve been waiting in line for ages, in a bank probably… or maybe the DMV. In your head you are thinking out thoughts about how you feel. ”I get annoyed at how these people just take forever…” Oh, the list goes on… and to be honest, it actually tires me to think about all the things that go through our heads.
So, the simple tip is to change the words you use to describe how you feel. Change them for less harsh words, for nicer words, for words that described a lesser emotion.
So, instead of saying “I hate people who do that”. Simply say: “I get slightly annoyed when people do that”.
Instead of saying “People who do that are stupid”. Simply say: “People who do that aren’t aware of the rules or are slightly uninformed of…..”
Lessen the statement or judgement and you’ll see how your feelings towards those things just go down a notch. It works. You should see what a happy driver I am! Ha!
